So, I have decided to participate in a Daily Prompt for the first time. I thought this would be a good one to start with as it is a great transition from my usually posts regarding mental illness.

Today ‘s title is ‘Howl at the Moon’
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.” — Allen Ginsberg

Do you follow Ginsberg’s advice — in your writing and/or in your everyday life?

********

I think being a bit mad is in my blood.  When it is inherent you can’t escape from it or hide from it….you better embrace it or you will lose a piece of yourself.

We all interpret being mad in different ways.  Some people think it means you are actually mentally ill…..while others might think it means that you live life to the extreme without consideration of responsibility.  I think it’s kind of like beauty, madness is in the eye (or mind) of the beholder.  To me, madness is simply living by your own rules and not letting society dictate what is right or wrong in your world.

I think it started early for me.  I never quit fit into any one clique when I was in school.  I was friends with people from any and all groups.  I was a joiner, but I didn’t join in an effort to be a part of something.  I joined because I had so many interests that it helped to keep my brain busy.  I never followed fashion trends, instead I learned to sew at a young age and made a lot of my own clothes.  What I didn’t realize was that I was an artist that didn’t take art classes, and actress that didn’t take drama and a leader that never ran for office.  It took me many years to realize I was different from the average person.  I never quite understood that most people did things to please others and not to please themselves.  Looking back, I guess it was kind of fitting that my high school mascot was The Mad Hatter.

You can start to lose yourself a little bit as the world starts to eat you up. You get older and you have responsibilities.  When you work in corporate America you have expectations set on you.  I found myself slipping away and trying to fit a mold that simply wasn’t made for me.  So I broke it. 

At the age of 30, I went to art school.  I immersed myself in creativity, making jewelry, designing cakes, building furniture…..still bucking fashion trends and making clothes.  I had to maintain a ‘day’ job to pay the bills, but I don’t let it control me or the way I live.   I learned that it’s ok not to fit into society’s mold.  As long as I am ok with me, that’s all the matters……..even if it means being a bit mad.