I have found that I am having trouble getting into the holiday spirit this year. This is the first year, ever in my life, that I will not see family at any time during the season. I knew this was a possibility when we moved south 2 years ago….but it is hitting me harder than I imagined.
Last year, my dad, sisters and nieces came for Thanksgiving and we celebrated Christmas the day following. I had decorations out and the kids all woke up Friday morning to gifts under the tree and filled stockings. The kids all enjoyed decorating an additional tree in the basement and we ate lots of food and cookies and drank hot cocoa…..and bagels (they brought them from the north).
This year, I figured I could force myself to get into the spirit by preparing the same way I did last year. This week I start to get the trees up, lights on and ornaments out….even some made. I thought it would make me happy…but really it just makes me sad. I am hoping that once I have everything done, I will sit in the glow of the twinkle lights and love the quiet of the evenings….as I do every year. But I am finding it harder to push myself than I have in the past.
I have decided to use the old advice that if you force a smile, you will eventually be smiling for real. So I am going to force a twinkle in my eye, a skip in my step and a merry tra la la in my voice….and maybe, just maybe my heart will fill with the Christmas spirit I want to feel.