Navigating life with a teenager….who happens to have bipolar disorder

Archive for the ‘Opinion’ Category

The Many Faces of Courage – this mom’s thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner

courage churchhillIn the past month or so, there have been so many news items that I have had strong opinions about…..but I try to keep this blog about our life coping with mental illness and not as a soap box for my personal views on the world, so I have forced myself to keep my mouth shut all the while sitting on my hands…..both here and on FB.  That was, until I saw a few posts on Facebook the past couple of days that made me release my hands and type away.  As I have said before, we all have our own truth, and this is mine.

Earlier in the week, the Vanity Fair cover came out with Caitlyn Jenner.  Originally, my FB feed was filled with support for her……until it was announced that she would be receiving an ESPY award for courage. Following that announcement, I started seeing more and more negative posts accompanied by pictures of military personnel with the heading “This is real courage”.

Now, I believe whole-heartedly that members of our military represent courage and bravery.  If it was not for our armed forces, we would all be living a much different life in a very different country. They put their lives on the line every day for our freedom and I thank them for that……but who says that courage can only come wrapped up in camouflage?

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I was raised by a single father in a time when it was a rarity.  Most men who were single parents during that era had become so due to circumstances beyond their control.  My dad chose it.  My parents married young and divorced young. At the age of 25, my dad took on the responsibility of 2 toddlers.  He had no outside financial support, and little to no emotional support from his parents. He raised us on his own and helped us become strong, capable women. He is my hero…..he represents courage and bravery to me.

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When I was 20, my grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Having spent her life roller skating, my last image of my grandmother was on skates.  She was holding the wall as she circled the floor, but she was pushing forward.  In the face of death, she chose to live life…….she represents courage and bravery to me.

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I have a 15 year old son who is living with a mental illness.  His depression and anxiety can be overwhelming at times….for both of us. He has friends…..he goes to church……he goes to school…….he loves helping others.  When there are so many people with mental illnesses that choose to lock themselves away from the world, he faces it every day……..he represents courage and bravery to me.

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All of the parents that are raising special needs children, that are advocating for them to make sure they get to have the best life possible……they represent courage and bravery to me.

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All of the adoptive parents and foster parents that choose to love another’s child as their own regardless of the challenges they may face……they represent courage and bravery to me.

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All of the people who grew up facing adversity and used it as their driving force to create a better world……they represent courage and bravery to me.

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The teenagers who are true to themselves, whether it be something as complex as sexual orientation or choice of faith, to something as simple as choice of clothing or music…..those kids that choose what’s right for them instead of what’s popular…..they represent courage and bravery to me.

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Since becoming CJ’s mom, I have had to learn to open my mind to differences.  Differences in personality, differences in lifestyle, differences in opinion.  Because of that, I try to pay attention, especially when I think I will learn from a situation. When I saw that Bruce Jenner was doing an interview with Diane Sawyer, I made it a point to watch…..and to pay attention.  My overwhelming thought at the end of that interview was “Wow, I have a feeling he just saved somebody’s life”.

Bruce Jenner made a decision many months ago.  He could have hidden away and gone through this transition in private, but he chose not to.  He knew that his experience and his life could help educate others.  He used fluff entertainment, like The Kardashians, and turned it into a platform to help us understand the transgender community a little bit better.  I read another blog post about Caitlyn Jenner being fake.  Yes, it took multiple surgeries to get there, so physically she is augmented, but Caitlyn is Bruce’s truth….one that he had hidden for 65 years.   The fact that Bruce made the decision to introduce the world to Caitlyn and have her fulfill what he considered his life’s purpose in helping others……that represents courage and bravery to me.

Honestly, I know there are many people who don’t think that is heroic…..but then, maybe people don’t realize that the statistics of suicide are staggering.  It is quickly becoming one of our nations leading causes of death.  Bruce’s choices, that Caitlyn is carrying out will, quite possibly, save lives within the LGBTQ community.  To me, someone who has the ability to save another person’s life and chooses to do so in the face of adversity is a hero in my book.

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